


gravel to tempo

by platonics



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Awkward Tension, F/F, Introspection, Pre-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Secret Crush, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:35:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22152607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/platonics/pseuds/platonics
Summary: "i don't feel adequate, thinking i'm a monster in disguise"
Relationships: Ikusaba Mukuro/Maizono Sayaka
Comments: 4
Kudos: 44





	gravel to tempo

Mukuro had always been a disappointment. Nobody ever let her forget that. Well, mostly it was Junko who wouldn’t let her forget, but she was remarkably influential. Nearly anyone who saw the sisters together would come away from the encounter dazzled by Junko and more than a little intimidated. They wouldn’t be able to get her out of their minds, wondering what lurked behind that charismatic exterior.

In comparison, Mukuro was just...there. Bland. Boring. Unremarkable. Like a background henchman in an action movie. Maybe worthy of a decent line now and then, but nothing in comparison to the star of the show. Even their parents lavished attention on Junko when they were young. How else could Mukuro have slipped away to join Fenrir so easily? This idea had been ingrained in her so deeply that eventually the day came when she could hardly envision not feeling that way.

The same thing extended to romance. It sounded nice in theory, but it wasn’t for her. She wasn’t worthy of that kind of attention, and it would only steal her focus away from more important things.

Sometimes she’d slip into the library in her free time and pick up one of Touko’s novels. She’d curl up in a corner, with the dusty cobwebs and stained carpet, where not even her sister would bother looking for her, and read. Exactly the sort of environment the books were written in, not that Mukuro knew that. She knew remarkably little about most of her classmates compared to what one might expect. They saw each other every day, but Junko kept her busy. Nobody else was worth her time.

She always had to be alert, prepared for any danger. Only someone who was never caught off-guard could be worthy of being called the Ultimate Soldier. However, when everything was calm and she felt as if maybe, just maybe, she could relax a little more, her mind invariably drifted to one person in particular.

Sayaka Maizono. An angel given human form.

Sayaka’s popularity had only grown since entering Hope’s Peak, as was the case for so many Ultimates. Nearly every day, Mukuro found some comment or another online praising the idol’s voice, her looks, her sweet disposition...The list went on and on. Fans even tried to get onto campus sometimes, just in the hopes of getting a glimpse of her, if not an autograph.

Hope’s Peak had good security. Few of these ordinary people made it past the gates. The ones that did, via the Reserve Course, quickly learned not to make a scene. Reserve students were already discouraged from getting too close to where Ultimates tended to be, but those who sought out Sayaka had Mukuro to contend with as well.

She didn’t outright threaten them, no. That kind of top of the line service was reserved for Junko. But piercing glares across the courtyard, a hand casually moving in the direction of the knife strapped to her leg? Those things, she could do, and for a disappointment, she was rather good at getting her point across quickly.

“What’s the deal with Sayaka?” Junko had asked once, draping herself across Mukuro’s bed and snapping the bubblegum in her mouth obnoxiously. “Don’t tell me you’re falling for her. You can’t possibly think an idol would consider _you_ worth the risk of a secret relationship.”

“No, of course I don’t think that,” Mukuro replied. After so many years, she’d reached the point where Junko’s insults almost didn’t even hurt anymore. “And I don’t plan on taking my eyes off the goal. Our goal.”

Her sister didn’t push to continue the conversation, but from then on, little taunts about Sayaka were slipped in whenever she especially wanted to strike a nerve. Mukuro told herself it was meaningless. After all, she really _didn’t_ have feelings for her, right? So why would the likelihood of them being returned matter?

She was thinking about exactly that when she crept into the music room. Going there was becoming a habit of hers, embarrassing as it might be. Sayaka practiced there often, sometimes alone and sometimes, like today, with others — often that Ibuki girl in the year above them. Mukuro lingered at the edges of the room sometimes to listen, never going farther inside or staying long enough to be noticed. Sometimes she’d finish up her homework to the sweet sound of Sayaka’s voice. Sometimes she’d just watch, as creepy as Junko would probably tell her that sounded. She wasn’t trying to intrude. Others came to do the same thing sometimes. The only difference was that they didn’t try to hide.

Maybe she was a creep after all. She wished she could’ve fallen in love with Makoto. Her sister would still taunt her about it, but she wouldn’t feel this awful turmoil. She might actually have a chance at her feelings being returned, laughable as it might sound. A normal boy would surely be more likely to think of a girl like her than a female idol would. But she didn’t love Makoto, so there was no point in thinking about it.

At some point while she was lost in thought, the music had stopped onstage. Realizing this, Mukuro looked up, still leaning against the wall. Ibuki was on her way out, it seemed. She watched as the two girls exchanged goodbyes, Sayaka’s smile dazzling enough to light up the whole room when she waved. Mukuro slunk farther into the corner, crossing her arms. Ibuki didn’t cast a single glance her way, and within moments, the heavy door was swinging shut again behind her. She thought she’d gone undetected, until she heard the sound of her own name.

“Mukuro-san? Is that you?” Sayaka tilted her head curiously, and then started across the room, towards the corner she’d been hiding in. She could flee, but there was no point when she’d already been spotted. So instead, she uncrossed her arms and stepped reluctantly into the light, footsteps soft on the lush carpeting.

“Ah, yes. I’m sorry for intruding, M—…Sayaka-san,” she mumbled, feeling her face warm. It wasn’t that abnormal to call each other by their given names after being classmates for so long, but Sayaka’s friendliness still made her flustered. “I just couldn’t help but stop to listen for a few moments, and I suppose I got lost in thought.”

Sayaka giggled, waving a hand dismissively.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s no trouble at all. To be honest, I’m really flattered that you enjoy my singing so much,” she said. In that moment, despair might as well have not existed. Mukuro felt like the luckiest person in the world.

“R-really?” She looked away for a moment, trying to morph her expression into something a little more dignified. “Is it that surprising that I like it? I can’t think of anyone who doesn’t.” A slight exaggeration, but still, the point stood. Sayaka was one of the most beloved idols in the country. It would be all too easy to take people’s love and admiration of her work for granted. Sayaka just giggled again, though Mukuro couldn’t tell what was amusing about what she said.

“What?” she asked, unable to take the suspense. Had she said something stupid?

“Nothing,” Sayaka said. “It’s just…you’re sweet, y’know. When we first met, I never would’ve imagined you being so cute. You were even smiling just a minute ago. I hope it’s not too forward of me to say this, but I feel like you’ve really grown a lot. It’s nice to see. I’m glad you’re able to feel more comfortable around me than before.”

“Oh. Right. Er, thank you.” God, she was awful at this. She had no idea how to carry on this sort of conversation without any outside guidance. That was why she stayed quiet more often than not. It was better for everyone. Mukuro wasn’t one to fidget — Fenrir didn’t tolerate that kind of behavior — but if she was, she’d be doing so now. It would probably ease this anxious energy better than staying still.

“I actually have to get going,” Sayaka began after a moment of quiet. Immediately, Mukuro began wondering if her awkwardness had ruined the moment, whatever the moment was in the first place. But before she could continue that train of thought too much, the other girl continued speaking. “But I’m glad I ran into you, because I had something I wanted to tell you. You might already know this, but I have a concert coming up next week.”

Mukuro nodded. She did know. She’d considered buying a ticket back when it was announced, but by the time she’d come to a decision and tried to make her purchase, they were already sold out.

“It’s the first one in awhile, so it should be extra special.” Sayaka looked away for a second, playing with her hair. Then abruptly, as if she just noticed herself doing it, she stopped, slipping her hand into her pocket instead. “I was wondering if you might like to come.”

All she could do was stare as Sayaka took a concert ticket from her pocket, holding it out to her. A front row seat, she was sure, and for free. What on earth had she done to deserve this?

“I-it’s okay if you can’t make it, of course! You don’t need to worry about hurting my feelings.” It was only when that response came that Mukuro realized she’d probably been staring silently for long enough to seem rude. Flinching slightly, she shook her head, taking the ticket from Sayaka’s hand. Their fingertips brushed as she did, sending sparks all the way up her arm.

“I’d love to come. Thank you. But…” She frowned, smoothing the paper between her fingers. “Do you mind if I ask why? Why you chose me to invite, I mean. You made it sound like you were planning to do that even before you saw me here today.”

Once again, that mysterious, enchanting smile lit up the room, making Mukuro’s heart flutter.

“I wonder,” Sayaka murmured, stepping a little closer. “Maybe you’ll just have to wait until the concert to find out.” The sparkle in her eyes made it seem like she, at least, didn’t think Mukuro was a disappointment at all.

**Author's Note:**

> this was...not my best work im sorry 😬


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